What We Did Over Christmas Vacation

starbucks_2
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo

This pretty much sums it up.

That's chocolate on his lip, not coffee.

You Can't Win

20070909-06
Originally uploaded by Wrappy

I still sometimes get mad at people who find breastfeeding photos porn@graphic. (Whether they like them or whether they are offended by them.) But I realize I'm more annoyed by those who are offended by them.

I guess there are a few individuals who are breastfeeding for purely exhibitionistic purposes. However, for the other 99.99% of us, we are doing it to feed our children, not to turn on some dumbass in the street. It seems about as sexy to me as a plate and spoon do. Literally!

Nevertheless, there are people who believe that uncovered always = lewd, and covered always = modest. I imagine they don't understand fetish from a sociological-psychological viewpoint. People can sexualize ANYthing. Breasts, back of neck, ankle, face, amputated limb, braces, whatever you have.

So even if you completely cover yourself from head to toe, there is somebody out there who is going to think you are doing THAT to be sexy just for him, because there are people who are turned on by that, too (see photo at left.)

What I'm trying to say is, it doesn't matter if women breastfeed or not, from a moralistic standpoint regarding being provocative. Someone is guaranteed to be in the wings fetishizing them regardless. So they might as well do what they want.

Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice
Originally uploaded by David G Kelly

Happy return of the light!

After tonight, of course, when there will be more darkness than ever.

Stay warm.

Come Back Baby...

Blog democracy never forgets.

Those of you--and there are a lot--who've been using that word verification on your blog comments forms, you can give it up now.

Really.

I've hardly had a robot spam in...I don't know how long. At least weeks, if not months. Years maybe. And when I have had the odd one or two, I just deleted it right away. Really no biggie.

Adding word verification to your comments form means that I am way less likely to comment on your blog, because a) the extra squinting, interpreting, and typing-in means less spontaneity (no condom jokes here, please) and b) now that Blogger and Google are linked, I have to re-sign in to Blogger every single time I want to comment. I don't know why I can't stay signed in, but there it is, on different computers, too. It never has worked to use the sign-in on the comments page.

So if you have word verification and I commented on your post, it means that I took the trouble to leave your page entirely and go sign in to Google/Blogger (Glogger?) and then return to your page, and then after commenting I did the WV-PITA-thing.

Truly spontaneity-sucking.

Non-sequitur:

Finally, if you hate every ape from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z: http://www.flickr.com/groups/26588725@N00/pool/

Curses!

We haven't been planning a big Christmas by any means.  We have limited means and limited space this year.  But I did want a few things for the holiday, which I ordered last weekend from Amazon (for example, a fireplace viedo and some pine incense in lieu of a fireplace, and a couple small items for hubby and baby).  I placed the order while watching Limelet and rushing back and forth between the office and the living room, in a hurry, of course.

 

A lot of the items were used, so the order was comprised of perhaps half a dozen items from half a dozen sellers.  Many of them were due to arrive today or tomorrow.  Last night right before bed I thought I'd entertain myself briefly by looking at the tracking status of some of them and anticipating their arrival today.  At which point I noticed what I had managed to overlook before: I had somehow had the entire order sent to our old address! 

 

Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!

 

Nearly all of the various packages are shipping via USPS, so they will be forwarded after all (according to the Post Office), but we'll get them probably mid-January, if my past forwarding experiences are any guide.

 

The one package shipping via UPS, however, I managed to have changed this morning even though it was already out for delivery, and UPS said we will probably get it tomorrow.  Around here they don't deliver on weekends, so if it's later, it'll be Monday.  Luckily, this is the one gift for Limelet that I really wanted to see him play with on Christmas (one of those little spiral ramps for toy cars), so that experience, at least, was salvaged. 

 

But I slept really tensely last night (uselessly) worrying about all this, and being furious at myself.

Interns

Interns
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo

This photo was actually taken as a ruse to use our images in that thing that makes you into dancing elves.

Nevertheless, here we all are.

I look about as tired as I felt (which is constant), but it was very nice of the others to get me a birthday cake to distract from how much younger and less tired they look than me. I have great co-interns.

Hoover (California), Little Miss Sunshine (South Korea), NoFun (South Korea) , Capitalist Peeg or CP (Michigan, more or less).

Well, *I* Had Back Pain, Anyway.

Interesting research finds that men's and women's vertebrae and hips differ in a way that allows women to have other people growing in their abdomens, without falling over. (At least not all the time.)

I have to admit that they speculate correctly that being on all fours was a lot easier on my back. Just harder on the knees, and I couldn't go a lot of places in that posture.

Argotnaut Made Me Do It.

I know, it's a loathsome and vile thing to do, like eating whipped cream from the can--another activity I can't resist.




moar funny pictures

Link.

Forty and Mossy

Originally uploaded by Lemon2

That's me! Guess I'm not rolling much these days.

After looking through all the Flick'r images entitled "40", I chose this one, and only then discovered that it's an image from my husband's hometown. How odd.

I may post some others too, just 'cause I can.





I was glad to discover that the poet Rainer Maria Rilke shares my birthday, although he's some 91 years older than me, of course. (Wow, is that all?) I loved Letters to a Young Poet.

Perhaps unrelatedly, when I was small I thought I would be a poet, an artist, or a "ballet dancer" when I grew up. My mother heard me saying this to a friend and was worried because she thought I said "belly dancer".

Forty and Nautical

40
Originally uploaded by piggley

Not me, but I like the colors.

Forty: Route Cool

Route Cool
Originally uploaded by elkit

Where is route cool anyway?!

Food Network Ahoy

After watching some kind of Christmas cake competition (part of it, anyway), we have come up with the components sure to make a really well-received cake contest / reality show.

1. Theme: Star Wars
2. Obstacle course carrying the cake to the display table
3. Random paintballing of cake-carriers
4. On ice!

So get those Star Wars cake designs ready. I'm especially looking forward to those super-teetery ones.

On a related note, we received for our nearly-mutual birthday from Argot and Frinky the great present of a DVD of Ratatouille. Presumably because of the rats (for me), and probably also the cookery theme. We watched it several times over the weekend, and TheLimey has declared it his favorite animated film. (Frankly I think he covets the kitchen in the restaurant.) It inspired me to make cheesy spinach sauce over steamed barley, when we thought we had nothing in the place to eat.

So, thanks guys!

Scintillating!

I guess that I do, after all, get migraines sometimes, as my mother did and at least one sister does.

I always thought they were just plain ol' headaches because I have never been as debilitated as my mother was by them. Certainly hasn't been what I picture as "one of the world's most debilitating conditions". Also my headaches have historically been easily treated with aspirin (or aspirin + caffeine), and rest and/or yoga. Or massage.

As long as I manage my stress, then I just don't get them. However, sometimes I still will get a headache with nausea if I'm stressed, and also if I have been carrying something (or someone) in a way that tenses my shoulder/ neck muscles too long.

But the real clincher was this. I have always wondered what the heck those were. Sometimes I have gotten them with no headache, especially with lack of sleep. Huh.

But don't forget: as they say, all headaches are at some level stress headaches. I'm guessing that wouldn't include, like, brain tumors. (Or would it?...)

Yikes

I'm having the classic naked-without-your-homework dreams about my dissertation defense.

 

I dreamed that I was supposed to give my defense at (apparently) some kind of military installation, but my committee members were all late.  Which was okay, because I realized I had made absolutely no preparations at all.  I thought I'd try to at least read up on it before they got there, but I discovered that I didn't have any materials and had left my laptop at home.  In another town.  Then, the power went out.

 

I must be more anxious about it than I thought.

Yay, Curry!

TheLimey has arranged for a neighbor lady to watch Limelet for a few hours one evening so that we can actually go out together and have dinner. 

 

We have not gone out together since he was born, so this is a big deal.  We have been wanting to visit the Indian restaurant downtown, so that's our first choice. Then if there's time maybe we can visit the used book store, or get an ice cream, or have a drink, or or or...everything!

 

It won't be this weekend--the actual weekend of our birthdays--but the following one.  So I have time to figure out when I can manage to wax my eyebrows.  Maybe at work?

When Traveling Abroad, Don't Forget

boomp3.com

"She Liked Her Mother..."

Well geez, I guess that's about all a person's feelings of guilt might allow him to say about the harm he'd done his daughter if he had done something like this.

What seems odd is that some coverage completely omits that statement as well as the discussion about the wife leaving him, which in domestic violence circles is pretty well-known as the most potentially dangerous time in a relationship.

Turkey

Turkey Dinner
Originally uploaded by veganmichele

A good "longweekend" to all.

Stuff yourself silly.

Prejudice Dissertation Excerpts

Just in case you care to see some of it.

Background:

I operate from the Helms model of oppression and prejudice, which identifies individuals as having many different aspects of social identity (groups we belong to). A person can experience discrimination / prejudice for any identity aspect in which they are a member of the non-dominant group in that aspect. Also, a person can be prejudiced against members of any non-dominant group, including their own.

The most common identity aspects that I examine in my teaching and research are those in Helms's ADDRESSING format. You can look at these aspects (below) and identify for yourself in which aspects you are a member of a dominant group or a subordinate group. Most people are surprised to see in how many aspects they are in a dominant group, because it's easier to notice when we are in a subordinate group.

___Age

___Developmental or acquired Disability

___Religion/spiritual orientation

___Ethnicity

___SES

___Sexual orientation

___Indigenous heritage

___National origin

___Gender

Okay. So, it turns out that prejudice seems to be somewhat of a unified construct. That is, if you are prejudiced against people who are in the subordinate group in one identity aspect, you are likely to be prejudiced against other subordinate groups as well. Altemeyer referred to people with high authoritarianism (another construct that is related to prejudice but not the same thing) as being "equal-opportunity bigots." I think this gets the point across.

So there's your background. Now here are some excerpts from my as-yet-undefended dissertation.

ABSTRACT

Prejudice-reduction measures during the college years have been examined particularly closely by prejudice researchers. Many researchers have found that exposure to diversity experiences (learning about other cultural groups, interactions with individuals from different social groups, etc.) appears to help reduce scores on various measures of prejudice. However, most studies failed to discern between voluntary diversity experiences and "structural" diversity experiences: those that are obligatory for academic or workplace situational reasons. For this reason, it was often unclear whether the kinds of diversity experiences encountered by students during college actually led to useful outcomes of prejudice reduction, or whether they simply showed who would in any case be further developing their pre-existing open-mindedness.

The present study investigated how obligatory, structural, diversity experiences during college might be related to aspects of prejudice-reduction in college students. It was implemented in hopes of finding that structural diversity experiences might help to reduce prejudice levels in individuals.

However, while there appeared to be somewhat of an effect on levels of ethnocentrism/racism, other subscales and overall prejudice did not seem to be affected by structural diversity experiences. Voluntary diversity experiences predicted both prejudice scores and authoritarianism scores, while structural diversity scores did not predict either. Rather, overall prejudice level appeared to influence the amount of voluntary contact individuals had with those in social groups other than their own.

The study also investigated whether psychological reactance appeared to play any part in modifying the relationship between diversity experiences and levels of prejudice and authoritarianism. The study furthermore investigated whether a number of other factors might also be related to prejudice and authoritarianism, such as general psychological pathology, time spent in college, level of education, and demographic characteristics. Certain demographic features predicted prejudice and authoritarianism scores, and psychological reactance was a predictor for authoritarianism scores, but it was not found to moderate the relationships between other variables.

Finally, participants' answers to open-ended questions about their experiences, attitudes, and behaviors were also examined. Themes present in handwritten short answers suggested that many participants were oblivious to their own prejudices and to their participation in a prejudiced social system.

Summary and Conclusion

The present study was implemented in hopes of finding that structural diversity experiences might help to reduce prejudice levels in individuals. However, while there appeared to be somewhat of an effect on levels of ethnocentrism/racism, other subscales and overall prejudice did not seem to be affected. Rather, overall prejudice level seemed to influence the amount of contact individuals had with those in social groups other than their own. Furthermore, themes present in handwritten short answers suggested that many participants were oblivious to their own prejudices and to their participation in a prejudiced social system. One conclusion is clear: prejudice against many groups is still quite in evidence among college students. This is clearly harmful for those occupying oppressed group status among their peers, as well as for those holding prejudices themselves, who appear to be largely ignorant of their complicity. If structural diversity experiences contribute to reduction of racial prejudice, then perhaps they can be examined and adapted for broader application in helping to reduce overall prejudice during this all-important window of developmental opportunity.



Here, additionally, is figure 1 from page 75, which graphically describes some of my findings from the qualitative portion of the study. I'm especially proud of this part.

Dissertation Advice For Those Just Starting Out

Someone--a shill, you're thinking, but no! a real reader--asked what advice I have for someone just starting out on the potantially long, hard road of dissertation.

So I have some, though I can't promise it's good. Caveat emptor.

1. Read Bertram Karon's inspiring article entitled Becoming a First-Rate Professional Psychologist Despite Graduate Education. (Psycarticles link; you may have to find it elsewhere if you can't get into Psycarticles.) Note the information on page 213 regarding choosing a research topic that you like. Also, while there is obviously a great deal of information specific to graduate psychology, there is a lot of useful information regarding graduate school generally.

2. For more and ongoing inspiration, read the classic Writing Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes a Day. Keep it with your data sheet collection, your laptop, or wherever your "currently using this stuff" pile is so that when you're feeling unmotivated and your mind is wandering, you can pick it up and leaf randomly through it (that's how I used it, anyway.)

3. Man. Choose your dissertation chair, advisor, etc. ever so carefully. Do they have the same values about work style that you do? Will they nudge you, but without lecturing you or condescending? Will they inspire you? Do they have kids, so they know what the heck that's about, if you have kids?

4. Choose a topic you like. I know, some people think that you will then beat it to death and dislike it by the time you are done, but that may be the sign of a bad dissertation experience that would have made a topic of lukewarm interest completely unbearable anyway. Take the idealist's route and ask a question you really want to know the answer to. Also, I hope that you at least like stats and figuring things out with them, even if you aren't a professional statistician.

5. Be prepared to sacrifice free time for a long time if you have to. Meaning a couple of years perhaps. Your partner really has to get this, too, because it's also his or her free time. (If you have kids, then be prepared to simply never have any free time between child care and dissertation.)

People always emphasize self-care, taking time out, etc. etc. Well, theoretically that's true and as a therapist I should also emphasize that myself. BUT. Self-care has degrees. Recognize that sometimes self-care means that you got to shower that day, eat nutritious food, and take several breaks to nurse and care for a baby. It doesn't always have to mean that you get to take the day off and go to the beach. Some days it might, but remember that every friend you have will want to be the one person you take that much deserved study break with, and then you will be socially booked every weekend and unable to work.

It probably depends what life stage you're at, too. For my life stage, not a lot of beach, but I did get the diss done in...what, I guess three years? Wow, I guess I was writing the proposal in December of 2004. (I did that in three weeks, includes lit review and all, pats former self on back.) But during that three years I also took time off to have a baby, in addition to the usual grad school activities.

6. Choose an easy way to do your study. Choose the easiest way possible, in fact. The best dissertation is a done dissertation. When you have those letters after your name, you can do more and better studies in exactly the painstaking way you were thinking of. They are not for now.

Testing Toondoo

The Best Defense

...is a good presentation about your dissertation research project.  Hopefully mine will be at least acceptable when I present on January 11th, which looks likely to be the date.  Pending some double-checking of teaching schedules.  I am so looking forward to hearing the traditional "Congratulations, Doctor."

That's It

Finished the contents and the appendices and so forth.

 

 

I'm scared to send it out!

Spell-Hecker

The reason I usually turn Spellchecker off: it doesn't know any research words like "interitem" or "kurtotic" or "univariate" and thinks that "multiple regression" should be "multiple regressions."

** ** **

Worse: it doesn't know "pathologize" or "dogmatism" or "anomia" or "Likert" or....cheez, anything important!

THIS Close to Not Being ABD...

Yesterday I finally completed my dissertation. 

 

I did the tables, appendices, and even a nice figure that I didn't know if I'd be able to do, as well as fixing the formatting of my reference section and checking the verb tenses in the results section.  So the document is done!  I just have to finish the title and contents pages now, and then check everything to make sure that my formatting is not only APA-compatible but also compatible with grad school requirements, which supercede APA requirements if there is a conflict.

 

I feel like it turned out quite well and I was able to include things I wanted to, and that things are basically in the order I want them.  Of course I don't think it's perfect, but I don't have that unpleasant "I wish I could have done this or that differently..." that so often accompanies a huge years-long research project.  I was even able to incorporate some new research that came out while I was working on it, most notably a journal article on microaggressions that had a lot of very salient and corresponding material to my study.

 

Wow, two years ago, I wrote up my diss lit review and proposal in about three weeks, because I had to.  So those of you who only have to do a lit review, um....I don't know what I want to say. Something.  Anyway, my thing was way harder than yours, and I'm glad it's done.

 

So, title and contents pages, check formatting, then review conventions for sending out the reading copies, then make copies and send them out all over the country, or wherever my dissertation committee are right now.  And schedule a defense, probably with some teleconferencing.  Maybe we can do webcam for my committee member who's in Colorado!

 

Now, if only I can get the financial aid office to stop harrassing me because they think I graduated or dropped out, darn them.

Hatt-Baby

Gosh, I love silly and even dumb humor.

After seeing this video, I have to wonder why on earth Hatten Er Din is not also on YouTube. (That I can find.) *

Someone, please upload it!

And are there English-language videos anywhere that include silly translations into some other language?

I guess I could make one with Norwegian silly subtitles. Maybe I could get my Korean friends to do one in Korean. Not that any of us have the time or the technology to add text to video, even if we had a video in mind.

Of course, then they'd have to translate it to English so I could understand it.



*And how could I forget this one? Classic, though the subtitles don't start for a while. Princess Leia is the yodel of life.

Shoulds and Anxiety

This year I'm working with a guy who is way-CBT (he trained under Ellis) and I have been learning a lot of really useful stuff about anxiety and anxiety treatment. One of the big things that I am learning to emphasize to clients with anxiety (and myself, of course) is this whole business of "shoulds".

What it really boils down to is that when we believe that there is some kind of universal law about how we (and others) "should" be, any time there is a deviation from that "should", we feel anxiety. A lot of times we are so used to "shoulding" ourselves that the thought has become very automatic and quick, such that we may not even recognize it as a thought. But it is.

The reason that a deviation from "should" provokes anxiety is that at some level we are telling ourselves that, basically, "I will die if things are not the way they 'should' be." This may sound like an overstatement, but time after time when I ask a client to dig down through their fearful beliefs--without censoring themselves, no matter how unrealistic the fear--the bottom thought they are always shocked to discover is "I will die".

For example, "If I don't ace this exam, I will do poorly in this class. If I don't do great in this class, my academic career will be completely ruined. If my academic career is completely ruined, then my parents will stop supporting me. If my parents stop supporting me, I will not be able to support myself adequately. If I am unable to support myself adequately, then I will end up homeless. If I end up homeless, I will freeze to death in an alley, alone." This is a lot more common than you think. I bet you have some thoughts like this that you haven't examined, either--I know I did.

If you will notice, the example person has unconsciously gone from "I should ace this exam" to "...or else I will freeze to death in an alley, alone." I would feel anxious about the exam, too, if I thought my life depended on it! If you lay out the path of the thoughts like that, the person can see what a ridiculous message they are giving themselves. But that's the problem with automatic thoughts--they go immediately from A to C with little recognition of that whole chain in between. Just recognize that we almost exclusively use "should" to beat ourselves up pointlessly.

A way to subvert this is to take the "should" and frame it as a desire or preference, rather than an imperative. In the example above, the person could reframe the "I should ace this exam" into "I want to ace this exam, because I want the consequence of doing well in this class." Reframing a "should" as a preference or want helps to reduce the fear for two reasons: 1) it subverts the whole "...or I will die" message and turns it into "...but I will still be okay if it doesn't happen", and 2) framing anything as a want leads directly to a goal-oriented train of thought such as "I will get the text and study the material" instead of to paralyzed agonizing or procrastination.

So, with apologies to a whole lot of people (we compiled this list from a lot of sources that I don't even know any more), here is a big honkin' list of common "shoulds" for you to look over to see if you recognize some of your own. (Actually, it's easier to start by noticing the "shoulding" that others are doing to themselves.) Oh, we "should" others, too, which leads to anxiety for us as well, but that's another day's work.

Shoulds:

I should be the epitome of generosity, consideration, dignity, courage, unselfishness
I should be the perfect lover, friend, parent, teacher, student, spouse
I should be able to endure any hardship with equanimity
I should be able to find a quick solution to every problem
I should never feel hurt; I should always be happy and serene
I should know, understand, and foresee everything
I should always be spontaneous and at the same time I should always control my feelings
I should never feel certain emotions, such as anger or jealousy
I should never make mistakes
My emotions should be constant -- once I feel love I should always feel love
I should be totally self-reliant
I should assert myself and at the same time I should never hurt anybody else
I should never be tired or get sick
I should always be at peak efficiency
I should be liked and approved of by everyone
I should always be successful in the things that I do
I should be further ahead than I am in life
I should always do things perfectly
I should be thin/muscular/sexy
I should have a boyfriend/girlfriend
I should be the same as everyone else (I shouldn't be different)
I should feel confident in every situation
I should be clear about my future and know where I am heading
I should always say the right things at the right time
I should always be able to meet other people's expectations
I should always do what people want
I should always feel calm and in control
I should always be happy
I should never make mistakes
I should put other people's needs before my own
I should never say anything that might make other people feel uncomfortable
I should always make the right decisions
I should be attractive
I should be popular
I should always make the right decisions
I should always look calm and in control
I should be a good student
I should have lots of friends
I should try to please my teacher
I should drive a particular car
I should wear certain brand labels
I should be in with the popular crowd
I should have a cool Ipod and mobile phone
I should be seen at cool venues
I should have lots of friends
I should be competent in everything that I do
I should never make mistakes
I should have lots of money
I should be successful
I should have a cool guy / chick to go out with
I should always be able to say something funny or clever
I should be able to impress the people that I like
I should always try to please my friend
I should feel confident in every situation
I should never need anything
I should always be patient and empathetic
I should never be scared
I should always put my children's needs ahead of my own
I should never be upset about anything anyone says
I should never experience time or energy limitations, or tiredness
With my great intelligence I should have no relationship difficulties
I have forgiven my parents so I should not have any unpleasant feelings towards them

Blasted Sports Fetishists

I had set aside time during this week to try to finish my dissertation as I am so close to done, and it's really sucking up my life and even the lives of my family (and friends).  I thought I might even get a lot of it done before the weekend, when I could work on it all Saturday as last week. But a lot of things conspired to make getting to the diss this week hard--Limelet had "troubles" on the night I was going to stay an extra hour or so, so I had to come home; there was a client crisis yesterday that sucked up a huge amount of time in the afternoon that was supposed to go to getting my clinic paperwork done and also the time that I had blocked out to get to my diss. 

 

So yesterday instead of finishing my clinic work, working for a couple hours on my diss, and still getting home for 6pm, I was at work until 7 anyway and didn't even get all my clinic work done, let alone even touching my diss.  Though I stopped myself on the way out, I went ahead and left my laptop and my huge sack of reference materials in the office, as I was going to come back early this morning to get to it, anyway.  However, when I went in today, first I couldn't even get close to the building in the car because of the stupid traffic for the stupid meatball game today.  So I angrily parked off campus in town on the street, in a spot marked "1-hour parking" as that was all that was left.  I figured that if I could make some real progress, it would be worth the price of a ticket.  I wished I had left my car in the lot last night and taken the bus, as long as that might take.

 

So I walked to the building.  There were shouting louts all over the lawn under tents and with barbecue equipment (9am mind you).  I walked up the steps and tried to walk into the building, but the DOORS WERE LOCKED.  Knowing it was futile, I nevertheless went all round the building, furiously trying all side doors and back doors and what not, even considering windows.  God blessit, if I had just brought my laptop and materials home, I could have just gone to the city library. 

 

So, anyway, I probably won't be checking my email much, as I have to pry TheLimey away from his also-important work and reset all his logins just to do that, which is a pain.  My furious trembling is beginning to subside, but barely.  I can't believe I can't even get to my computer until Monday.  Next week I have a jam-packed schedule with absolutely no time to set aside for diss, so I won't get to it until NEXT weekend.  I am so frustrated and disheartened.

orangeskies_4

orangeskies_4
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo

Hope everyone had a happy Halloween. My husband took this one, for once.

The Dark at the End of the Open Space

(Post begun last weekend)

After spending today (a Saturday) at the office, I can say that I'm finally feeling excited about the completion of my dissertation. It's been a huge, endless* plain of information upon which I've wandered for lo, these past coupla years, but now the narrow gully that is the end of my journey is in clear sight.

What we'd been doing is having TheLimey watch Limelet on weekends while I worked on my diss. This worked like a charm. That is to say, most of the time it didn't work at all, and when it did, it may well have been coincidence.

I was doing maybe only an hour or two's worth of work and taking eight hours to do it, because of the constant distraction and interruption. Limelet can't stand having me at home but inaccessible. TheLimey can maybe take him outside for a little while, but that's limited, and also often requires my help to get him ready to go or to get him settled and fed and so on when they return.

So we finally hit upon the obvious solution, which is that I should just take my laptop and materials and head in to my office. After all, it's just across campus. That has worked great! Just a few hours of work actually yields results. It turned out that the building is locked on Sundays, though, so I had to go to the Union then. Still worked well, though less comfortable than my own office with all the amenities 'n' stuff.

Now I've completed 8 of the 16 tables/charts/appendices that are necessary to finish my dissertation. I think that means I'm officially within spittin' distance. After that, I just need to fix some formatting in my references section (easy) and then fix the verb tenses throughout my results/discussion section.

So all you edit-y types, any volunteers to read those sections and help me with the verb tense part?!

*seemingly

Any Powdered-Milk Recipes?

Boy, if that title doesn't attract spam comments, I don't know what will.

 

I've been looking for cookie recipes that incorporate powdered milk.  This is because when I started working, I was worried that I might have trouble pumping enough milk at work, so I bought a tin of formula.  But we never even cracked it.  Even though I didn't pump as much milk as he was used to drinking, he was already onto solid food and various drinks, so it wasn't necessary.  Besides, I've tried formula myself and it is NASTY!  As in, milk with vitamins crumbled up in it.  I can't believe so many babies drink it day in and day out. 

 

Nevertheless, it occurred to me that it would probably be okay cooked into something like cookies where it's not the main ingredient, but can add some protein and vitamins, so i could substitue it for powdered milk.  But the only cookie / biscuit recipes with powdered milk I seem able to find are either a) dog biscuits, or b) refrigerator cookies with peanut butter in them, and I still haven't added much peanut to his diet yet.  Besides, I want real cookies, not no-bakes.

 

So if you have a good cookie recipe with powdered milk in it, let me know.  Otherwise I'll cobble something up from an existing recipe.  Eventually.

Even A Person Who Is Not Dumb

...can be really ignorant!

 

 

That is all.

The Best Defense...

I've owned the d0ct0r lizard0 domain name since 1992*, among a couple of other, newer ones. I have always maintained it one way or another (renewing the site vs. renewing just the domain name, for example), though I haven't always [ever] really understood the arcane system Yahoo and their Australian IT company have for being related to one another and keeping track of all the malarkey.

Long story short, I renewed just the domain name again last November, but before it was up for renewal, just for the sake of uniformity with my other domain names. Come May, the Australian sister site began sending me "URGENT! Your domain is up for renewal!" notices, which I ignored as redundant and automated. I've had similar messages for the others, at times, that came to naught, because I had already renewed them! But then in August this year, apparently they sold my domain name to someone else.

My husband noticed it before I did, as I don't have time to play with web stuff these days (not that he does either, but somehow he noticed it.) At first I thought it was just one of those placeholder kind of pages, until the other day when for a different reason I was looking at my Yahoo business domains control panel (or whatever the heck they call it). I realized that not only was I unable to access that particular site, but WHOIS said it was registered to [identity screen] in Oregon and it was locked. So yay. But here I am, still paying $9.99 per year for it, in perpetuity.

Having a bit of insomnia last night, I had the brilliant inspiration to bill the current user. So I wrote out an invoice and emailed them a bill for nearly $900 dollars. I think $299 a month to use my domain name for their search engine is reasonable, don't you? I also emailed the Australian IT company and told them politely that I was doing this, and that if the current individual or organization was unresponsive, I'd be sending the bills to their company. Since I don't feel terribly emotionally invested in the site, I feel freer than I normally would to push the limits a bit and see what results I can get.

Heck, it was their responsibility to make sure they weren't double-selling a domain name. And Yahoo--they should have protected my domain name, so it's their responsibility, too. Maybe I'll write them later if I have further insomnia.

Yes, I should have replied to the emails about renewing--just this once--but how is a person supposed to know when to really do it when it's always been okay to ignore it as redundant before?


*2002. See my reply to my own post. Duh.

Loving It

Just a quick post to say that I really like my internship.

It's true that it's very busy, and there have been a number of days upon which I had to stay later to get my paperwork done. However, I really like it nonetheless. I believe I have really made the correct career choice, and I look forward to practicing on my own later. The site I'm at is very culture-conscious, so I really feel I'm settling into my "niche" as far as later work.

I'd like to add more research to my CV to enhance teaching opportunities, but time constraints are making that pretty hard. I can't really do any at home as I take over Limelet-care on evenings and weekends, and I have nearly no minutes to spare at work, though we're supposed to do SOME kind of research during the year. (I say this despite my writing this post. I had someone reschedule, so I'm trying to catch up on paperwork kind of stuff. Not enough time to get into much of the research, though.)

TheLimey and I have both been looking into jobs for next year, which is partly nerve-wracking and partly exciting. He's looking at updating his training, and I'm looking at getting some kind of clinical work. I know 80% of jobs are not posted, which probably holds more or less true in my field as well. That means I have to find some other ways of looking for positions.

The next hurdle for me (after revising and defending my dissertation, of course) is to get work that leads to being licensed in the state where we will live. This typically means about 2000 hours (about a year's worth) of clinical work postdoctorally (after diss defense), which has to be supervised by someone licensed who has a PhD in Clinical Psychology (the same degree I will have). Then there will be a big, big licensing exam that I have to pass.

Then after that, I can do whatever I want! Within ethical reason, of course.

Teaching doesn't require a license to practice (treat), but it also doesn't lead to licensure. They're kind of separate.

I miss my baby while at work, but he's doing well with Daddy and he's becoming socialized to other children and adults, which is good. I believe that this week they will go to see members of Cirque du Soleil at the local library. (Cirque du Puree for you Simpson's aficionados.)

autumn_walk_2

autumn_walk_2
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo

Your leaves turning yet?

Man Fleas

alpFLEAS0001
Originally uploaded by vitriolicviolin

Ah, this made my evening...

Garden Visit

dayatbeal_2
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo

We finally took an afternoon off last weekend.

A Total Lazy Cross Post of Everything

...because I can't separate the threads of baby versus non-baby material in all that's gone on in the past month + since we moved, plus I have very (even more-) limited time.  That also means that this will likely be a disorganized post, or more so than usual.

 

So we moved into University housing, which initially was a bit scary.  Tiny, dark, smelly as heck, and the carpet (the Grease Mat) so nasty we couldn't put Limelet on the floor even for a minute.  Yep, you bet that was a pain.  We ended up spreading old bedsheets on the livingroom floor just to be able set him down.  Since he had just begun crawling, it was a matter of trying to constantly corral him on the rumpled, rapidly dirtying sheets.

 

What we wanted to do was get everything off the floor and shampoo the heck out of the carpet. Over and over.  And over.  However, this took about a week and a half to accomplish. 

 

Backing up a bit: on the day we moved in, I walked into the livingroom where the moving guys had been stacking our boxes to find that the tiny room was COMPLETELY filled with boxes up to the ceiling, with only a little path through to the kitchen and to the sofa.  When we were packing and building up to the move, we had thought that once we moved, we could finally relax a bit because we could unpack at our leisure. 

 

HA!  It actually ended up more stressful and urgent even than the packing, because we had to hurry to get that enormous pile of boxes unpacked and sorted out enough to shampoo the carpet before we could do much of anything else. And since the place was so tiny, unpacking was like an incredibly complex puzzle. A two-bedroom four-dimensional Tetris.  In 90-something-degree heat.

 

It took over a week (was it ten days?) of solid work to get things to a level at which we could even think of shampooing the rug, so it's a good thing we chose a move-in date that was a bit before my internship started.  (I wouldn't even have known where my work clothes were, had we not done that.)

 

Once we got the shampooing done and had covered the Grease Mat with a series of area rugs, there was a mutual deflation of stress.  Thank goodness!  

 

Since then we have been gradually fixing this or that situation in the house, like adding babyproofing  and unpacking my work clothes, for example. Just this past Saturday I finally got my laptop set up, which tells you how much there has been to do.  Normally I wouldn't think of going over a month without a proper desk setup, but it was just quite a bit lower on my urgency list than...well, than a month's worth of other stuff, I guess.

 

So TheLimey has been staying home and caring for our Limelet, a transition which has for the most part gone way faster than either of us thought.  True, the first week or so there were a few meltdowns (and I'm not saying they weren't mine!), delayed naps, lost sleep, and hassles pumping milk and transporting it and using it--all that sort of thing, but we've all gradually begun to find a new rhythm.

 

For one thing, I stopped coming home for lunch.  Limelet's pediatrician had suggested it as a transition device, and it seemed like a good idea.  But in practice, it ended up making Limelet have to say goodbye to me just 15 or 20 minutes after I'd gotten home, and then he was often upset for the entire afternoon.  Now that I'm staying away he stays happier all day, and when I come home at night his delight in seeing me is not shattered by my immediately leaving.  Not to mention it was a huge pain in the butt for me to use thirty or forty minutes of my lunch hour just driving back and forth and parking.  By the time I'd nursed him I often wouldn't even have time to eat something myself.

 

We also have switched from using a bottle for serving the expressed milk, to just putting it in his sippy cup before naptimes.  He likes the bottle primarily as a toy, so it more distracts him from sleeping than puts him to sleep. 

 

Since it's been so @#$%& hot every single frikkin' day since we moved, there have been Sleep Issues.  Particularly at night.  Turns out that about the only way to get Limelet to sleep on a hot night is for one of us to take him out on the nearby swings and swing him to sleep.  If it's me doing it, he also nurses.  (Luckily it's usually dark anyway.) 

 

I've been worried that he'll become addicted to falling asleep on the swing, but on the three cooler nights we've had, he's fallen asleep inside, so I hope that we can get back to normal when the weather breaks. I'm not going to be swimging him to sleep in February, I'll tell you that much!  It makes me think that we should just replace our bed with a hujambous hammock.

 

Daytimes--from what I hear--TheLimey and Limelet hang out outside under a shady tree, even napping there at the appropriate naptime.  (Probably cooler than inside the apartment, anyway.)  They've been exploring campus while I'm gone, so that's nice.  It's such a gorgeous campus, too. There's also a grocery store and some other conveniences within easy walking distance, so sometimes they go there during the daytimes.

 

Limelet is learning about Other People now that we're not isolated in snowbound Tinytown USA.  We have neighbors galore, as well as some after-hours activities with my fellow interns.  One of the other interns has a baby who is jsut a couple weeks younger than Limelet, so we all get together and the two of them parallel-play, and sometimes try to grab each other's hair or eyes. 

 

Limelet has always just loved having (most) people talk to him and pay attention to him (though there are a few people who sent him into fits of terror, but we won't discuss that here and now), however he's always been afraid of having others hold him.  But just yesterday he finally allowed our nextdoor neighbor, a Chinese grad student named Kim, to carry him back from the launderette (as TheLimey calls it) and play with him, with Daddy close at hand of course. 

 

We are going to try getting him exposed to being taken care of by others so we can have a babysitter at some point.  Possibly the non-mother interns would take care of the two babies sometime while the parents have some time off.  For us it would be our first time alone together since his birth!

 

I've also met some other mothers in the apartment complex (Or "Baby Alley" as I like to call it.)  Across from us is a Filipino couple with a tiny 4-month-old girl, and living above us is (I think) a West African family with a 6-month-old girl and I think two older children, but I haven't really met them yet.  TheLimey has found a couple weekly games of pickup football (real football, I mean, not Meatball; comprised, so he says, of the United Nations) in a couple locations on campus, so I feel happy about that.  Now he can get to know some men-friends.

 

My office at work has high ceilings and windows up to the top, facing East, so that's going to be great for the long northern winter. There are three other interns: two are Korean international students and one is White and from California. We're all women this year. I'm happy to be somewhere that has good coworkers.  And the site has an especial emphasis on multicultural issues, as I guess it would have to for me to fit in there. 

 

I am somewhat surprised to find myself at the more-CBT end of the treatment continuum compared to others here. We have arguments about evidence-based treatments, with me on the side of research.  So funny, as my Feminist orientation places me on the flakier end of many locations. I am co-facilitating an anxiety group with the center's big CBT guy.  I've invented a treatment called "Accidental Exposure Therapy," which consists of running around doing random things until something makes you anxious.  (Just a joke, of course.)

 

Of course every workplace has its paperwork/computer/etc. system that takes a while to learn, currently I'm taking more time doing those things than I want to.  Theoretically I could see all my clients, attend all our meetings, eat lunch, AND get my paperwork done--all within the 9-5 model, but for now that's been a little bit of a stretch. I feel certain that I'll be able to do it relatively soon, though.

 

I have a campus bus pass that I've used a few times. I think I will use it more as winter comes on.  For now my time is so tight in the morning that I don't have the extra 20 minutes to take it, but I hope to start doing so regularly.  If it weren't for the baby care aspect, it would actually be a lot easier to take the bus.

 

Downtown has changed somewhat since I lived here, but other than the destruction of locally owne businesses by chains such as Starbuck's and Barnes & Noble, most of the changes are either nice or neutral.  The downtown is really nice to walk around in at lunchtime.  I saw an Indian restaurant nearby and can't wait to try it sometime.  Perhaps when Limelet gets his babysitting experience the two of us can go.  Together!  What a thought.

 

My "baby weight" has almost gone, but I'm definitely shaped differently now.  I'm still experiencing a few other unpleasant physical sequelae, but we won't go into those for now.  I'm happy to be able to be outside and walking around again, I'll tell you that  much.  I even went for a (short) jog the othe rmorning, with the actual jogging stroller and baby in it.  I plan to incorporate more jogging if possible, once we get our mornings ironed out better (which is somewhat dependent on getting our nighttimes ironed out.)

 

Limelet's first birthday: next week Tuesday.  Wow, no longer infant, officially toddler!

 

Too see the photographic documentation of what we've been doing on weekends, look here.
 

 

For Labor Day

Yeah, it's late for labor Day.  But you gotta love Jack Lessenberry. 

 

(No, really--I insist.  You must LAHF HEEM.)

 

I especially like the discussion of Ehrenreich's assertion that the working poor are the philanthropists of society.

 

Hope this link works via email blog...

 

http://jackshow.blogs.com/jack/2007/09/essay-working-p.html

A Brief Divertissement

I can find our honeymoon photos by searching like this, but all our wedding and honeymoon photos have disappeared otherwise.  Even the set.  Other old ones have disappeared, too.

 

Is it because I didn't upgrade to "Pro" when my initial free account ran out?  Is it a bug?  I hope it's a bug.

 

I only discovered it when I tried to find the Detroit Science Center photo the schmap people were asking me about using in their schmap.

 

 

Too much work to post about it.  At internship and also home.

 

 

 

beal_5

beal_5
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo

A brief moment of respite. The internship is great, but it's really time-intense right now during training. As opposed to later, when we've been assured there will be a ton of work and we'll be BIH ZEE.

I'm definitely experiencing role conflict as I attempt to juggle sequential three-hour seminars with pumping milk and racing home to nurse on the lunch hour. The second I leave home I have to buckle down to work, and the second I get out of the car at home I have to buckle down to baby work. So I'm pretty darn exhausted, what with not having slept five hours in a row at any point in the past eleven months.

Today we got a bunch of brochures and information about self-care, yoga classes on campus, etc. etc. (along with the information that we'll be extremely busy later). I'm trying to figure out exactly when I'll do any self-care, since my lunch hour is not available and even my bathroom break times are taken up with pumping milk. Evenings and weekends are when I relieve Dad from baby care duties.

Limelet and Limey seem to be making the caretaker transition well, though the new arrangement is hard on them in some ways, too. The large trees are a great relief for me. The playground and swimming pool are a relief for Limelet.

I don't know what's a relief for TheLimey. Probably the knowledge that we sold the house last year and missed* the housing crash. He seems to like campus, too. I think he finally went to check out the nearby pub/cafe just now. I'm encouraging him to do stuff like that whenever possible so that my custom child care giver doesn't go insane! As I did last year, trapped by winter in the house.

There is another intern with a baby Limelet's age, and her husband is working in another state, poor thing. She seems to be holding up better than me, bless her little heart. I don't know how!

*I should actually say "avoided", since he was following the whole thing for years on NPR financial programs and knew it was impending. Which means that I knew about it all, too whether I wanted to or not.

By Email

Just trying out the Blogger email feature.  If it works perhaps I can once again toss a post up here from time to time.

 

 

We're Here

Campus is beautiful (and empty).

Found out our location one day before moving. Apartment is teeny tiny but would be liveable--except that it has a really, really, filthy, filthy carpet, despite supposedly having been "cleaned" before we moved in. I mean it's vile. It's like living in someone else's dirty sock. It leaves a grey coating on our feet. It's revolting.

It's sucking up most of our time trying to get everything unpacked and arranged in a hurry so we can rent a carpet shampooer and do it ourselves.

Limelet gets to go on the nearby swings several times a day now. He's addicted! Also, lots of squirrels to amuse him, as well as a cafe/pub within strolling distance for TheLimey.

Honeysuckle

honeysuckle_1
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo

The honeysuckle is now blooming its second set of blossoms for the summer, just in time to see us off to our new home in a couple of days. This is my favorite kind of honeysuckle, the old-fashioned kind that smells so sweet and has nectar you can taste hiding in the base of the blossoms. The first year they bloomed twice, I used some from the second set in my wedding bouquet.

I can't believe I lived here for two years! It's a town that feels like everyone is just passing through. Probably due in no small part to the well-traveled highway going right through the downtown, with hardly anything going on more than 20 feet from that highway.

Nevertheless, it's the town where we were married and brought our baby home from the hospital, and where he spent most of his first year of life. Therefore I feel sentimental about the honeysuckle.

I will also miss the library, where Limelet and I spent many a happy Thursday looking at books and movies, nursing semi-secretly, and where he would take a morning nap on a soft blanket in the grass between the lovely volunteer-tended flower gardens out back as birds from the adjacent woodland sang overhead. There was almost never anyone else in the gardens; we made them ours.

We returned the last DVD of Season 2 of Lost today. That'll be the last library trip. I didn't say goodby to the library ladies who always knew where my holds were. I thought that I'd be going there to return those videos myself today, but TheLimey just ran in to drop them off as we were in a hurry.

Goodbye honeysuckle, goodbye library ladies, goodbye library flower gardens.

Go, Us!

Breastfeeding-Friendly Icon
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

This post isn't on my mothering blog because people who read that one probably already know about it.

If that "breast crawl" item a few paragraphs down on that link is what I think it is, it's a pretty cool video.

On a completely different note, here's a very misleading link about boobies and babies.

Boxbaby

boxbaby_1
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo

Cleared out my office at the department yesterday and turned in my keys, most of which no longer work as their locks were so old they'd already been changed.

We've been packing again today and also some other things that you can see a few of as I've been furtively trying out Chorewars.

Thanks to Argotnaut for hooking me on yet another blasted internet toy! At least now I'm getting some gratification for things I have to do already.


PS: the list of "adventures" completed is far from exhaustive.

Comguads!

comgwats!
Originally uploaded by magpie-moon

In the spirit of my list of nonwords, I had to blog this lovely cake for everyone I know who recently graduated.

It's so wrong, it's right.

Thank you so much, Flick'rer Magpie-Moon.

The Cat and The Bag

Little Pool
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo

The cat's out of the bag: my husband's given his official two-week notice that he's going to be a stay-at-home dad while I do my internship. Now you may talk about it freely amongst yourselves.

Move: three weeks.
Internship: one month.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to complete the dissertation in small chunks of time on the weekends. I'm making progress but it's maddeningly slow.

This photo makes it look like I'm a Lidy of Leisure, but that's only because you can't see the bags under my eyes so well in that green shade. Limelet loves that pool insanely. I love that I get to sit down.

Sigh....Why The Internet Is So Great

Some dumb@55 recently joined that Freecycle group I started (just to get rid of some big item of junk last year, I really didn't want to be in charge of it and have been trying to find someone else to take over it), and then posted a request for certain favors I won't mention here for fear of [more] spam.

Since new member posts are moderated, I denied the post, and also dumped the guy from the group. No need to accept people who'll send messages like that to 400 local citizens, who'll then complain to me. He immediately attempted to re-sign up, which I denied.

Then he emailed me and said he was going to sign up under another ID. I replied that was fine as long as that ID respected the group rules, to which he responded "nope," and then began signing me up for all kinds of random online stuff. I know this because I started getting a bunch of "confirm your new account!" emails in my inbox right after this exchange.

I hope he can't do any real damage.

Jerk.

* * * *

A few minutes and a brief Google search later...

I see from an online discussion that the selfsame guy is embroiled in a child custody dispute. What a great dad to have!

Happy Independence Day!

sylvan lake fireworks
Originally uploaded by gsgeorge

I'm happy for someone taking nice photos and uploading them ASAP like this, as we are unlikely to see any fireworks ourselves this year.

So, happy Fourth! Thank goodness we got those Brits out of our hair.

Oh, wait...

Amazon Fun

Amazon has some really sucky qualities that I've complained about before, like its horrible, terrible, awful, no-good search engine. (Just give up and search using Google within Amazon.com.)

But I did really love Amazon Prime (discontinued that temporarily as we are saving our dough for more important things right now), love the free shipping on many items, and we do have an Amazon credit card since we use them so much anyway, what with all our book buyin'.

And what wonderful books have I gotten with our recent Amazon "rewards"?

I could have gotten some technical and/or reference books that TheLimey and I need for our respective careers, or even some of the pages and pages of books that we each have on our wish lists, or I could have made up some non-gift-giving to certain relatives (poor things), but instead, I got this, and these, and--my favorite--this.

TheLimey thinks that last thing is too big. He may be right. But I don't care! [sticks fingers in ears] LA LA LA! I can't hear your reasonable doubts! LA LA LA!

Not only will Limelet love it, I want to sit in it myself and drink a margarita. (Just one, so's not to drunken the baby.)

Happy Summer Solstice!

Solstice Lily
Originally uploaded by pfly

Yay--summer! For some people at least, that means a little free time. Not us, but congratulations to those of you for whom it does.

Our current entertainments:

We've been borrowing Lost on DVD from the library (yay libraries!) and watching it (usually in bed with headphones). I'm kind of glad neither of us watched it on TV. We're on disc 5 of Season 1, and so far it's magically delicious. Ha! Disguised sci-fi. Take that, mainstream programming.

We finished reading the His Dark Materials trilogy. We loved it, loved it, loved it--except for the end of the very last book. Unfortunately it kind of ruined the memory of the previous nine blissful months of reading the rest of the series to each other. If there's one thing that's worse than a really contrived happy ending, it's a really contrived sad ending. I understand some stories have to end sadly, but this one really seemed forced.

While putting Limelet to sleep, I've been reading a lot of Sheri S. Tepper. Old-school feminist sci-fi stories that grip you from the start and never let you go! She's a bit transparent in her themes in a number of of her works (Beauty, The Fresco), but the stories and characters are really compelling anyway.

Anyway, happy summer.

I've never liked you

I've never liked you skirt detail
Originally uploaded by QueenieVonSugarpants

This skirt cracks me up. If I was up on my sewing, I'd sew something like this. Luckily someone else did it so I don't have to.

But I wouldn't wear it to a workday in my profession...

Librarians

Stumbled across this Flick'r group. I don't know how any librarian could resist joining.

Best Spam Email Subject Ever

"Joy Division sneakers in the works."

Unfortunately, it was not about Joy Division sneakers at all, but rather about the usual medication for you-know-what.

Too bad, as I could use some [miserable] '80s-pop-music-themed footwear.

Infernal Devices (or Their Drivers Anyway)

Well, I feel I wasted much of my short dissertation time today trying to hook our lovely Handycam (courtesy of Auntie Argot) to my lovely computer.

I just want to upload some of the things we've been recording all this time to, say, YouTube. I feel guilty that people who just had babies this week have already uploaded clips. However, it's not going to be for a while, probably.

We did got the USB cable recently and I thought it would be a simple process. Unfortunately, Windows believes that the Handycam is in fact my PCTV, no matter what I've done to change that. It wouldn't be such a bad thing except that the Sony USB streaming tool must have different settings than the PCTV, because the sound is so slow and warpy in the transfer that we all sound like the Devil. (Even the bluebirds sound like some kind of slow, evil birds.)

I've uninstalled (supposedly) all the PCTV stuff and all the Sony stuff and reinstalled only the Sony, in various permutations. However, even though the install wizard says that it sees a Sony Blah Blah Thingummy, once it's all set up, the sound settings on the streaming tool still insist that the sound is from the PCTV USB Whatchamacallit. (Even after I uninstalled that driver.)

So anyway, no video clips yet. (At least none with sound.) Sorry. It doesn't mean we haven't been making baby films like mad!

Why I Haven't Posted Lately

Should be clear from the video message I recently sent to my sister.

Hope everyone is well.

We're In UR NCC-1701 Charmin UR Wimmin

AKA Tribbles Be All Movin' Thru Vents.

This was inevitable. Completely inevitable.

(C'mon, you remember what NCC-1701 is, right? I'm humming the theme song right now--hear?)

Happy Beltane!

May Basket
Originally uploaded by Zsaj.

One of these years I'll have a garden of my own from which to post flower photos.

Or alternatively I'll be buying flowers and taking pictures of them!

But not this year.

Nonetheless, these lovely flowers are about my speed. When I was little, my mother told me about the May Day tradition of leaving flowers on someone's doorstep. So naturally I went out and picked wild violets and dandelions and such and made little bouquets of them, and left them in front of the doors of other apartments in our building. I think it's the closest I got to ever playing "Ding Dong Ditch."

(I won't describe to you what I did when I heard that earthworms can grow back parts of their bodies. Let's just say I'm still traumatized thinking about the results today.)

First Draft!

Emailed the first rough draft of my dissertation today. Still lots more to do on it, but at least it's a good step in the right direction.

Licking Patrick Stewart

Licking PS
Originally uploaded by scottobear.

This is for Argotnaut and her silly humor craving.

Nothing will ever beat Teh Bucket, but this is pretty good.

Here We Go Again...

I've been avoiding most media lately, as I'm trying to finish a first draft of my dissertation. (Which, coincidentally, is about prejudice.)

However, I can't avoid it entirely, so I have seen some coverage of the recent shooting at Virginia Tech. An issue I just knew would crop up is cropping up: references to the shooter being South Korean and how are those Koreans and Korean-Americans taking that fact, anyway?

I know, this doesn't sound so terrible. We all want to know everyone's take on this (that's the press's presumption, anyway). It's the contrast in how the issue is addressed that's always the underlying problem.

With all the White shooters we've had--and there've been a lot, haven't there?--has anyone ever seen any references to "So how is the White community taking the fact that this shooter was White?"

'Cause I haven't. This omission means a lot.

Maybe we should have been asking that.

Risk

According to the breast cancer risk calculator, I have an estimated 99.3% chance of not getting breast cancer in the next five years, and an 86.3% chance of not getting it during my lifetime.

I wish there was a more sophisticated one that took more things into account.

For example, if your mother breastfed you (even for a short time), your risk is reduced (I was the only one of my many siblings who was not breastfed, of course). Breastfeeding your own children reduces your risk, primarily if you do it for longer than one year (so I'm definitely going to be doing that, although that isn't my main reason for doing so.) Having children earlier in life reduces your risk, as it "sets" the cells of your breasts so subsequently they don't change every month with your hormonal cycle (I picture them like little Jell-O particles.)

Being on hormone therapy increases your risk--haven't done that, and won't. Hot flashes, here I come. Used birth control pills? Conflicting results show either increased, decreased, or no change in risk (the earlier pills had much higher hormone levels in them, complicating the research.) On the other hand, being on the pill greatly reduces your risk for both ovarian and colorectal cancer, so there you go.

But I digress, which is what I do best.

The point I was going to make is that breast cancer, while quite scary, is way behind other leading health-related death risks, particularly heart disease. Furthermore, some other top killers* of women (depending on the age group) that people seem to ignore a lot are auto accidents, murder (partner or former partner usually), and suicide (women are currently still stuck with higher depression rates).

So while you're wearing your red dress pin or your pink ribbon as you walk (or whatever you do) for a cure, don't forget that we need your admirable endeavors to improve other aspects of risk, too.

*Maybe someone can make a risk calculator for all these things combined. Now that would be cheery, wouldn't it?

Sugar Connection

As far as food cravings go, I have always been more of a salt-n-savory craver than a sweets craver. I admit to being one of the few people who has not really been that interested in ice cream, unless it's really hot out. And while certain kinds of chocolate make me drool (notably Green & Black's Organic Dark Milk Chocolate), I have never considered myself a chocaholic. Even my husband is more chocolate-oriented than me.

That's not to say I haven't occasionally desired the odd plain-chocolate cake or licorice whip or whole-wheat brownies with drizzles of coffee icing or whatever. It's just that throughout my life I've usually wanted jerky, potato chips, cheese, mashed potatoes, ramen noodles, deviled eggs, gravy, and so forth, when I've been in a cravy mood.

But since I've had a baby, I've turned into a sweets-craver, too. I even started wanting ice cream (Häagen-Dazs's Caramel Cone). I ate half a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips the other day! True, someone is literally sucking the life out of me round the clock, but this doesn't account for the change in my tastes, does it?

I recently heard a young woman talk about trying to keep her parents from giving her baby sweets when they're caring for her on weekdays, partly because she now feels like she is addicted to sugar herself and can't stop thinking about it. Reflecting on this later, I remembered an article I read a few years back that stated that when you crave sweets, it may mean you're tired, while if you crave salty things, it may mean you're simply hungry. I thought I could tell this to that other mother next time I saw her, as we were all discussing how exhausting it is taking care of a baby 24/7.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that this could account for my own sudden uncharacteristic sweets-wanting. Of course! I wanted salty stuff before, because I never weighed enough and never really ate enough on a regular basis, I figured that already--but now that I'm exhausted ALL the time, I crave the sugar.

So maybe it will go away in, oh, 18 years.

Exhausted

Exhausted
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo.

This is what happens on weekends when Daddy takes over so I can work on my dissertation. Limelet wears him out completely.

Poor Daddy.

A Variety of Birds of Happiness

I think I mentioned previously that there used to be bluebirds in the yard here chez Lizardo/Limey, but that the cutting down of the only large trees on the block and the influx of numerous housecats and feral cats within the space of a few months pretty effectively put a stop to all that songbirdly happiness.

So for several years, the bluebird house that the neighbor put up held a motley assortment of other kinds of baby birds; mainly sparrows, possibly a couple of house finches. Unfortunately, the way she had mounted the house made it lean forward at the top. This made the front "wall" of the little house fall open an inch or so at the bottom, as it was hinged at the top. Thus there was always a litter of nest material sort of dripping out the bottom of the front, and it was clear that cats and/or raccoons and/or possums were happy to just paw at it and eat whoever was living there at random intervals. Not exactly prime bluebird real estate.

Then those tenants moved out, and left little sad bits of landscaping around, including the little birdhouse. During the winter, snow and ice knocked it further off its teetery balance on two nails, so I took it and wedged it firmly in some sturdy branches of the tree next to it, but with the top leaning back so it stayed closed. At least maybe the sparrows could have the chance of raising some uneaten babies come spring.

Then last weekend as TheLimey was returning from a little walkies with Limelet, he phoned me (yes, from right outside our place) to ask "what kind of a bird has red on the front--" house finch, thought I -- "and bright blue all over the back and head?" I instantly dropped my analyses of variance and ran out there like a shot. Yep--Bluebirds nesting!

I can't tell you how something so small and simple just made my week. It was the first nice day after the resurgence of winter that we had, and not only were there bluebirds, there were goldfinches, a brace of cardinals, chickadees, and house finches aplenty. I could hear two different kinds of woodpecker in the wooded lot across the street, too.

Now the birds that mysteriously shunned my feeder all winter seem to be returning to it, along with the tender new leaves on the honeysuckle vines. I heart spring.

I've Gone Audio!

This is so darn cool!

It erased the post I had, so bite me. Or bite the post. Something. Here's the link. I expect all of you to follow suit if you haven't already.

http://podcasts.odiogo.com/doctor-lizardo/podcasts-html.php

इफ यू कैन रीड थिस ...

थें ई हवे नो आईडिया वहत ई व्रोते।
बुत इत शुरे लूकस कूल!

At Puberty...

...there should be more of those baby-simulating events that some organizations hold. I'm not talking about carrying an egg around all week. Or even that crying doll. That's still way too easy.

I mean something more realistic. Like some evening when the kid is worn out as heck from a long day and hasn't had dinner yet, they should have a 20-lb potato sack strapped to their chest and have to walk and walk and walk and walk around a dim room, for four hours. No bathroom breaks! No snack breaks!

No teenager would ever have (heterosexual) sex.

Ha! Who am I kidding? They still would.

Unless there were booster sessions; maybe weekly ones...

Weigh In on Important Stuff

Wow; I've been online three times in two days! This run of luck can't last, so instead of spending time looking these things up myself, I'll see if anyone else already knows.

1: I've heard that Memorex DVDs are made with the most inferior pigments that deteriorate after a year or so, disintegrating your data/media. Is this true, and if so, what is a good brand to get?

2: My RSS-and-podcast loving partner wishes he could listen to his favorite blogs instead of reading them. Is there a web-based reader-out-louder* that would do something like this? (If not, why hasn't Google jumped on this already?)

*I don't think he means an app on the computer itself. Limelet found that one for me yesterday while engaged in his favorite activity, mashing random keys.

Flaming Hamster

It's good to see Mark is back!

...although I will probably rarely make comments because of the Firefox block. I can't comment without it (from my end, anyway.)

I know, I know! Firefox is better in every way and I should be using it, according to all my smartest friends and relatives. But we're a Microsoft household [Darth Vader breathing sound], especially now that my husband is all certified-up and whatnot.

And when I fire up the Firefox for temporary use, then I have to re-set all kinds of things when I turn Explorer back on.

Nevertheless, it's nice that you're back.

Noooo....

Blogrolling is gone?! But I use it for everything.

Maybe it will come back, like the stupid snow that returned for April. Only with less cursing and freezing.


*****

So, it's back.

I know it seemed like an overreaction, but when you only have 5 or 10 minutes to do all the online stuff you want to for the day (or week), and you can't predict when that will be or how long it will last, everything seems a lot more significant.

Frohe Ostern

frohe ostern - happy easter
Originally uploaded by *Sabine*.

German holiday kitsch is so much cuter, nicht wahr?

I forgot to even look for any images in Norwegian...hmmmm...

Happy Easter

Happy Easter
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo.

From our little bunny.

April Fool!

April Fool
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo.

I don't have time for jokes.

Luckily, Google does.

TiSP

Google Gulp

Google Lunar Jobs (darn!)

Google Pigeons

Mentalplex

Google Romance