(Actually now with PhD, but Doctor of Philosophy just doesn't have the same evil ring, does it?)I had set aside time during this week to try to finish my dissertation as I am so close to done, and it's really sucking up my life and even the lives of my family (and friends). I thought I might even get a lot of it done before the weekend, when I could work on it all Saturday as last week. But a lot of things conspired to make getting to the diss this week hard--Limelet had "troubles" on the night I was going to stay an extra hour or so, so I had to come home; there was a client crisis yesterday that sucked up a huge amount of time in the afternoon that was supposed to go to getting my clinic paperwork done and also the time that I had blocked out to get to my diss.
So yesterday instead of finishing my clinic work, working for a couple hours on my diss, and still getting home for 6pm, I was at work until 7 anyway and didn't even get all my clinic work done, let alone even touching my diss. Though I stopped myself on the way out, I went ahead and left my laptop and my huge sack of reference materials in the office, as I was going to come back early this morning to get to it, anyway. However, when I went in today, first I couldn't even get close to the building in the car because of the stupid traffic for the stupid meatball game today. So I angrily parked off campus in town on the street, in a spot marked "1-hour parking" as that was all that was left. I figured that if I could make some real progress, it would be worth the price of a ticket. I wished I had left my car in the lot last night and taken the bus, as long as that might take.
So I walked to the building. There were shouting louts all over the lawn under tents and with barbecue equipment (9am mind you). I walked up the steps and tried to walk into the building, but the DOORS WERE LOCKED. Knowing it was futile, I nevertheless went all round the building, furiously trying all side doors and back doors and what not, even considering windows. God blessit, if I had just brought my laptop and materials home, I could have just gone to the city library.
So, anyway, I probably won't be checking my email much, as I have to pry TheLimey away from his also-important work and reset all his logins just to do that, which is a pain. My furious trembling is beginning to subside, but barely. I can't believe I can't even get to my computer until Monday. Next week I have a jam-packed schedule with absolutely no time to set aside for diss, so I won't get to it until NEXT weekend. I am so frustrated and disheartened.
3 comments:
At some point, I'm going to have to pick your brain about how you've made this entire thing work. I'm getting ready to apply for a PhD program in the coming year and even without a child, Liz and I are both wondering how we're going to afford everything.
So my completely unbalanced mental state at the non-doing of my dissertation for a single weekend didn't dissuade you? You must be really messed up. That means you're ready for grad school!
Well, as for affording stuff, it just comes down to student loans and going back to living like an undergrad. Both are hard in a different way, but the second one is more immediately difficult.
If you have a partner who's working, it will make things a whole heckuva lot easier.
BTW, keep in mind a lot of people who start grad school with a partner end up without that person. (Unfortunately, I'm not even kidding.)
That's not such a big issue for us. You know, cause everyone's essentially stunned that she's hung around this long.
I pretty much know what to expect on the school part (having already done this once before), but it's the having money and suddenly not having money thing that kind of sucks. I've pretty much already decided that if they're not giving me a full assistantship package, then I'm simply not going.
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