Friday, November 12, 2004

Why is it that I have such a hard time telling if I'm "really" sick or it's something I could probably give the doctor a miss for? It's as though I am so used to being miserable and exhausted that I can't tell if I'm really miserable, sick miserable, or just...tired or something. I have to resort to the old "If one of my sisters had these symptoms, would I make her go to the doctor?" To which I answered, definitely yes.

I know I could probably have controlled my symptoms enough to get through a day at the clinic, but I am just so worn out, and tired of coughing every time I talk, and itching every time I inhale, that I called in sick and went to the "Health" part of the health clinic myself.

Basically there's nothing wrong with me except that I can't breathe without coughing--no infection or anything. So that's good in one sense--but it also means that I was essentially right in thinking that if I could just control the symptoms AND get a good rest, I'd probably be okay. So now I feel like I wasted an afternoon I could have been resting, and also a bunch of money, for something possibly unnecessary.

They gave me a breathing treatment (which has left me jittery and tired) and a course of steroids to reduce the lung inflammation. They also gave me several other prescriptions, including Advair.

Even though I asked which scrips were the most important (given my insuranceless state) and got only those, the whole shebang came to $180. While the breathing treatment and steroids were actually pretty cheap, that golblanged-freaking Serevent was $80 all by itself.

I'm not surprised my lungs are irritated, because that's how I am feeling overall--unbearably irritated by everything. Little noises, strangers breathing in the same room as me, any tasks related to school, watching my remaining money get sucked into the prescription machine--they all make me just want to punch someone. If only I weren't too tired to do so...

Man, steroids always make me irritable--on top of this preexisting irritability, I can't imagine what I'm going to be like!
Well, hopefully I will get to have a few normal nights' sleep, a couple weekend days where I can work eight or nine hours instead of 16 or 20, and then I can post something less cranky.


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