Thursday, November 11, 2004

Blogger sure is recalcitrant today. Then again, so am I.

I ended up canceling my class/office hours. (As TheLimey suggested I do on Tuesday so I could get things done, but I guess I had to really get sick first before I was willing to do it.) For the past several months now I have had a lot more tightness in my lungs than usual, and in the past month it has gotten really bad. Last weekend I had a full-on asthma attack, which hasn't happened for about 4 years, and was really not what I had planned for Saturday night.

I think this constant months-long cough/irritation/wheezing is turning into bronchitis, even though I know how to manage the symptoms so I'm not dropping dead on the spot all the time.

Anyway, today I am exhausted and my lungs feel sore when I just inhale. The thing that has helped me the most the past few days is to take Robitussin DM, which has stuff to make your lungs less irritated so you cough less, and to thin out whatever gunk is actually in there. So, given what remedy helps, that tells me what the underlying problem is. (Well, yes, lungs swelling shut--but how, specifically.)

I think I just need to rest, for the love of Pete. Rest and get my immune system back up and my inflammatory response back down. Woke up in a panic about getting everything done at 3:00 am, then couldn't get back to sleep. I hate this! I feel like I have consumption, and it's not very glamorous nor poetic.

This weekend I will finally be able to begin working on my dissertation, now that it's mid-November. Which means that once again I will be running severely behind, as I will be trying to get proposed and get committee approval and graduate school approval by the end of next month in order to begin data collection in January, before the fresh students have been exposed to me and Dr. [NAME OF ADVISOR] for too long. Probably too late to quit grad school now, huh?

Maybe this weekend I can do my dishes, which are nearly all used and are filling the sink and the countertop. Wow: time to do the dishes. What a luxury!

Tonight, if I have the energy to wash a pot and boil potatoes when I get home: canned fishballs and potatoes! (However, I will be eating the potato skins, which seemed positively bizarre to the Norwegians I knew.)


argotnaut said...

Darnit, I'll be so glad when you're done with all of this school business! Can you even imagine it?

And besides rest, you need Singulair! It just fixed everything for me. I hate to jinx myself like this, but since I've been on it, I rarely even get colds, let alone any kind of major lung inflammation.

But I'll bet you have to deal with those stupid dispensary rules, or whatever they're called . . .

liz said...

The thing is, I *have* been using the preventative inhaler that works for me (Serevent), but there is currently something that is specifically irritating my lungs (along with the rest of me!).

So I can keep down the symptoms to some extent, but it won't take away the cause. Which may be some low-grade infection, or it may simply be that lack of sleep and incredible stress are increasing my inflammation, or--whatever. Something is specifically wrong with the tissues right now; not just general asthma stuff. (Plus my nose has been congested, too, so that suggests infection.)

I don't feel like I will ever be done.

I can't wait to be able to come home at 7 or 8 and not still have 5 hours of work waiting for me that is due the next day. I can't wait until there is a Saturday or Sunday without 15 hours of work hanging over my head.

I can't wait until I have the time to not only spend 15 minutes getting my solitary time in, but another 15 minutes wherein I can actually start feeling like reaching out to others again.

I can't wait to be able to eat and sleep and shower and wash my dishes like a normal person again, and not be exhausted and sickly and worn out.

I can't wait to not be such an irritable bitch!

Liddy said...

It would be odd, of course, but I strongly feel that if I knew where in the universe you exist that I would be forced to come do those dishes FOR you.

liz said...

[rubbing hands together as lightning flashes] HA HA HA! My plan for world domination is WORKING!!