I think I'm experiencing Holiday Blues. To which I never wanted to fall prey. We always get a lot of clients going through something like this, increased suicide attempts, breakups, etc. etc. I usually like the holidays a lot, and look forward to the domesticity and coziness of them. I have always been relieved that at least I have that, and don't have to be sad at the holidays. There are enough other times of year in which to be sad.
But this year I seem to be having the ever-popular depressive reaction instead, which is a bummer. Literally.
I did some baking and cooking over the weekend, but my aspirations were higher than my achievements. Ironically, this led to my feeling that I had failed--at something I planned as a rewarding relaxation for all my hard work over the past several months! I think I'm conditioned to be far too goal-oriented at this point.