Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Have been alternating between cheerful optimism and bleak pessimism, punctuated by frequent 3:30 am wake-up calls of sheer panic and dread/nightmares about applications to internships. Most have application dates of November 15th, which is not very far off considering the things I have to get done (and get others to do) by then.

  • 1. Have thesis committee actually sign off on the revisions I made, so that thesis is considered officially "done". Am expecting/experiencing some difficulties in this area once again. You would think these people would want me out of here!
  • 2. Must propose dissertation...for some sites; for others it's a matter of having it close to proposed. Mine is maybe close.
  • 3. Must rewrite a section of that blanged Quals/Comps paper, as many sites require that a person pass their comps before application. We just got them back today, and frankly I'm almost surprised that I didn't have to rewrite all four sections, considering that was the week I was also redoing my entire thesis. Anyway, not a terrible shock, but is yet another thing to do.
  • 4. Must find certain supervisors and professors (3 or 4) to write personalized letters of reference specific to each application site. Since it is recommended that we apply to between 10 and 15 sites, this could mean managing the sending of between 30 to 60 letters of reference. And all by means of asking people for favors. Sheez.
  • 5. Most upsetting to me is realizing how few "contact hours" (with clients) I have accumulated. After our second year (a bit over a year ago) I was actually ahead of the game, as my practicum worked me somewhat mercilessly. I had great plans for last year to be the year in which I got a lot of experience in assessments and in group therapy.
  • Unfortunately, after the deaths in my family last summer, a lot of my plans went completely by the wayside. I could barely drag myself through my classes and research, and my clinic experience is what suffered the most timewise. Not to mention that whole other incident that happened a few months later just as I was beginning to pull myself together... I have spent the past 8 months or so just trying to catch up on a lot of that stuff. Therefore, I have now ended up being one of the people with the least face-to-face time, which of couse was the exact opposite of my plan.
  • And our clinic (where I am right now) does not have very many clients, as this is the first year that we have had students from all three years (i.e. 35 potential therapists, instead of the 10 we had when we were the only cohort.) So I am actually getting 0 client hours as we speak.

I have been hearing some of my colleagues talking about staying another year (one of them is actually doing so). I am beginning to wonder if I am crazy to try to apply with so few practicum hours, and my dissertation still so unformed, or if I am crazy to think of staying another year (tick-tock, tick-tock!). Perhaps I am simply crazy! I don't know, but this waking up terrified in the middle of the night all the time is getting kind of tiring.


D said...

Time is irrelevant. I can prove it. My theory is based upon the following evidence.

1. No matter how much time there is before a piece of a work is due, one will always work right up until the very brink of the deadline. In effect, a job will expand to fill all available time.
2. Work done increases exponentially as the deadline approaches therefore any attempt at starting earlier will generate negligible quantities of additional work. This rule holds right up until the last half hour before the deadline when work drops off to zero because of the "Don't care anymore" phenomenon.

liz said...

I would be very interested in seeing how this relates to the theorem "time is money", for which I have seen the mathematical proof (and promptly forgotten it).

D said...

The mathematical proof for time is money? I haven't seen that. I have however seen a mathematical proof for woman = evil. I think it goes like this:

Woman (W) take time (T) and money (M). (W=T*M)
Time is money (T=M)
Money is the root of all evil (E) (M=sqrt(E)
which is the same as...(E=M*M)
thus...(W=M*M=E) or "Woman are Evil"

I myself doubt this proof because "Woman take time and money" would doubless be W=T+M not W=T*M.

liz said...

My research clearly demonstrates a much higher correlation between *men* and the drain of time and money. Hmph.