Sunday, February 25, 2007

But Does It Know Jack?

I admit I am one of those on the forefront of the non-blogging trend lately, except for maybe my mothering blog. I believe I actually have a good excuse this year. However, I'm still going to try writing an actual entry from time to time. (I wrote most of this one on my PDA in bed while intermittently nursing.)

Last night TheLimey went to a work colleague's party for a brief evening. This gave me a chance to watch the scary DVD I'd checked out at the library.

When I watch a movie at night, I watch it in bed (with headphones), so that Limelet will stay asleep, as he can then sleepily nurse on demand while I lie there. It's most convenient: I get to see a movie and I can also tend the baby, simultaneously. (If you've ever cared for an infant who is awake, you will realize it's hard to watch an entire movie during the daytime.)

Unfortunately, when my husband is in bed too, trying to sleep so he can go to work the next morning, I can't really be munching popcorn and playing movies in bed. Therefore, the opportunities are sparse. So this was a great opportunity. It was a wintry, howling-windy night, so it was perfect for snuggling up with a warm baby and a scary movie. Also popcorn.

As I was heading downstairs to pop the corn, after getting Limelet to sleep, I realized that I had worked on my dissertation through dinnertime and should probably eat something more than popcorn. Being of the ham and cherries school of eating myself, this turned into quite an odd assortment of food.

Let's see, perhaps a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk. Oh, and an apple. That's whole grain, fruit, and protein. Perfectly nutritious! --Wait, I can have the peanut butter with the apple, and then make cinnamon toast of the bread. Perfect! And the milk, it can become hot cocoa with the addition of...some heat. And some cocoa. Oh yes, I forgot I bought a new container of cottage cheese--that looks good, too. And raw carrots--don't forget some raw carrots, for added fiber.

My tea tray ended up so full of all these other things, I had to balance the hot popcorn bag precariously on top when I took it upstairs.

The movie was Darkness, which was prettily filmed but not very scary after all (except for maybe three teasing seconds of scariness.) I found myself wishing someone else was watching it with me so we could make fun of it together. At one point a character intoned ominously, "The Darkness knows a great deal..."

"...when it sees one," I jauntily finished for him. If Darkness is such a good bargain shopper, I thought, I wonder what other things Darkness might know. I started making a list in my head, compulsively, at about the time the characters were arguing about "where that tube went":

Darkness knows a great deal (when it sees one)

Darkness knows a good fluffy pancake recipe

Darkness knows when to hold 'em & when to fold 'em

Darkness knows my second cousin Joe

Darkness knows how to mambo!

Darkness knows the way to San Jose

Darkness knows the real lyrics to Louie Louie

Darkness knows where the decent free restrooms in Chicago are

Darkness knows who took the last brownie

Darkness knows which way the wind blows

Darkness knows you didn't really mean that, but were just kidding

Darkness knows which side its bread is buttered on

Darkness knows where that tube is

Darkness knows what boys like

Darkness knows there's somethin' goin' on

Darkness knows the square root of 2.425217

Darkness knows how to treat a lady

Darkness knows a great little diner around the corner if you think of something else Darkness knows, feel free to comment.


Liddy said...

I'm a little behind... just catching up. I love this list of what darkness knows.

I'll have to remember to ask the Darkness about those Chicago restrooms. I'm still hunting.

Tim said...

I think you've just discovered the next great name for a search engine: "Darkness Knows." Who cares about Jeeves, the Darkness Knows.

liz said...

Would that be kinda like Deadjournal is to Livejournal? A sort of Goth-gle?

Tim said...

Absolutely. I think you're on to something.