As I have been complaining since long before marriage, this business with waking up to NPR can be very disheartening.
For TheLimey it's a gradual and gentle coming to awareness in which he doesn't hear the actual content of the news. For me the content is immediately front and center as I'm trying to awake. (Hence that ancient post about Felicity Forthright, which Blogger is now telling me can't be found in a search of this blog. Lying double-crossing Blogger.) [Ha--here it is, though I had to use Google to find it.]
So anyway, the worst is hearing ol' GW first thing in the morning. At the best of times, hearing his voice makes me shout "shutup shutup SHUTUP!" out loud as I reach out to turn off the radio just long enough to not have to hear him. But first thing in the morning that is difficult, especially as the radio alarm is on the other side of the bed.
Therefore I am stuck hearing whatever he has to say, which is particularly crappy of late, now that the political war machine is gearing up for elections. This has begun literally giving me nightmares.
This morning I dreamed that the US was becoming a Nazi state, complete with snipers shooting at my curiously windowful and curtain-free home (which was also in a river subsidence area and subject to frequent 5-foot floods.)
MISTRESS OF SCIENCE! Mwah ha ha ha.
(Actually now with PhD, but Doctor of Philosophy just doesn't have the same evil ring, does it?)
About Me
- liz
- If you're looking for my primary blog, it's the Doctorlizardo one there at the bottom. (The parenting one is the Furmother one.)
4 comments:
I have never gotten much of my news from radio or TV (relying more on newspapers and the Internet), but I do miss the Lehrer Newshour. I haven't watched it in the last three years because I can't stand Bush. Everytime I see him, I am embarrassed for the United States. I can barely even stand to watch clips of him speak on "The Daily Show," even knowing that he's about to be skewered. I wonder if it's possible to invent a device that one could attach to a TV or radio which recognizes a voice (say, W's) and tranmutes it to another voice (say, Urkel's). Such a device might make the next couple of years bearable. Nah, probably not.
transmutes, that is. Although just plain "mute" would work, too.
That sounds a lot like the device invented by the eccentric rich character in Contact (the book, not the movie.) I think it was called Preachnix, and selectively blocked out televangelists. (There was another one to block advertisements in general.)
After a bit more thought, I have determined that the "Urkelator" wouldn't work...you'd still hear W's nonsense even though he sounded like Urkel. What you would need is a "Cletusizer," which would change the content of Bush's soundbites. For example, W could say "We should write discrimination into the U.S. Constitution," but what you'd hear is Cletus The Slackjawed Yokel from the "Simpsons" saying, "I done spraint my elbee-bone so's it goes in the oppositty die-rection!"
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