Happy New Year, Planet Earth

Happy New Year, Planet Earth
Originally uploaded by Terry_Lea.

Can't resist this lady's squirrel photoshops for the holidays. Especially since I don't have time to do any of my own, though of course I would love to.

Happy New Year!

Mini History

Thousands of years of Middle Eastern history in 90 seconds. The visual certainly makes it a lot easier to remember than any list. Neato!

(This guy found it first.)

1st Christmas

1st Christmas
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo.

Oooohhhh....crinkly paper!

I Can't Believe It's All Free!

It may surprise some of you library types, but I haven't voluntarily been to a library in years. Oh, I've been to plenty of libraries on my various campuses enough times, but it's invariably been because I was researching something.

(On the other hand, there are a lot of things I haven't voluntarily done in the past few years. No, wait, not a few years--many.)

A friend of mine mentioned that she and her fiance check out movies at the library. I wondered why the heck I hadn't thought of doing that. I've been to our local town library twice now, and they have a great collection of weird old movies. Maybe as good as mine. Lots of DVDs and also VHS tapes. Lucky for my husband I brought a VHS player to the marriage, huh?

I also checked out a bunch of cookbooks, a fiction book, and a book about hiring someone to clean your house, though I have barely had time to look at them and they're nearly due already. My book appetite is bigger than my time mouth, so to speak.

It's been great to get out of the house and go somewhere that is quite close, so it's not such a hassle as going into a "real" town. I also don't have to worry too much about my appearance, so I don't have a big getting-ready struggle. If I've had a shower at least the day before, then I feel okay about it. There's a changing table in the bathroom, and I bring apples and trail mix for myself. There are secret corners where I can furtively latch the baby on in his sling and then walk around nursing, with no one the wiser. Limelet usually just goes to sleep. However, sometimes he wants to stay awake and try to grab books off the shelf. Clearly his parents' son.

I plan to check out some books on CD for the road trip this weekend. There seems to be a larger selection of books on cassette tape, but the only auto tape player we have is in the "bad" car--the one we don't use as much (the baby's car seat seems too unsafe in it.)

Friday night we brought the computer to bed and watched my recent check-out, The Stepford Wives--the good one, not the remake. (Tsk.) We used headphones so as not to wake our co-sleeping Limelet, and had popcorn and cocoa. It was great fun (although we still got frustrated about the ending of the movie.) We both independently thought the experience reminiscent of reading under the covers with a flashlight as a kid.

The next day I was able to take a nice long shower, as someone was home watching the baby for me. I even had a chance to shave my legs! When I mentioned this to my husband, he replied, "Well, good--then I won't have to replace you with a robot." I pondered aloud what it might be like if both of us simultaneously replaced each other with robots.

Hilarity ensued.

Why I'll Never Be Sainted

...Among other reasons.

Listening to Christmas music this season, I have a slightly different perspective than before. Little Drummer Boy, for example. I guess Mary was a lot more patient than I am.

If some kid showed up with a drum just after I had a baby, I'd be all, "You play with that outside! My new baby's trying to sleep! For Pete's sake, what are you thinking? And where is your mother, by the way?"

Also, that shepherd boy who suggests bringing silver and gold to the child who shivers in the cold. Not that silver and gold isn't useful, but come on. Use your head. You're a shepherd! The child's shivering in the cold! Bring a fleece. Bring some lanolin for the new nursing mother.

Well, to be fair, I guess at least they could use the silver and gold to buy some things like that, and maybe a fresh donkey*.

But I have a strong feeling those songs were written by people who never gave birth.

*Ugh--labor on a donkey. Triple ugh--postpartum on a donkey!

One Down...

...five to go!

Had my first interview today; this is one of the sites that only does phone interviews. It went quite well--certainly a bajillion times better than the phone interview I did last year. So, who knows? We might end up around Geistweg territory next year!

Jack the Pumpkin King - Finally

pumpkin king 2
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo.

I know it's long past Halloween, but here's the photo of Limelet in his Skellington outfit.

Third Time's the Charm, Right?

Busy with internship stuff during the few seconds I'm not busy with baby stuff.

I've got six interviews. Two of the sites offer only phone interviews so's not to disadvantage those who can't afford to go gallivanting around the country on all kinds of flights and whatnot. The other four I will probably be going to in person, so I will be booked up like crazy for January.

Don't even get me started about how we're going to do this with an exclusively breastfed baby who has just never taken a bottle well!

Magical Disappearing Images and Stuff

I've just downgraded my doctorlizardo site (and my teaching site) to a domain name only, as I'm currently not really using it for anything but hosting images and things.

Now that I can do most of that on Flick'r or even on Blogger itself, there's not much reason to pay $10 a month to Yahoo. That's $120 a year! (Or "ten bottles of wine" as my husband would point out, should I give him the chance.)

So there are probably a bunch of images that disappeared from my blog, especially the archives. And wherever I commented on your various and sundry sites, that avatar probably disappeared, too. (I have to remember to recheck that whole gravatar thing, too.)

The reason there is now a squirrel gif on my banner is that the rat wheel gif was one of the disappearing images. I thought I had a copy of that one in my picture files, but I can't find it. Probably on one of my backups from three years ago or something that I'll find in another three years, accidentally. Oh well.

Long Nights Moon

Is supposedly what today's full moon is called. Today was my actual birthday.

It may well be a long night--I spent the entire day doing nothing but getting. the. baby. to. sleep. Then he'd wake up 5 minutes later. After 15 or so hours of that, your brain is kind of fried. TheLimey is now taking a turn walking him. I don't know how I can possibly work on my dissertation this year, let alone get it done.

The analyses should only take a day of work--but that means an actual day of work. You know, a day with hours in it, not twelve 2-minute segments.

I've been trying to do the analyses for months now. I'm always all optimistic at the beginning of each day, then at about 8:30pm my mood crashes as I realize yet another day is gone and I've made absolutely no progress at all, despite my efforts. And even if he goes to sleep, at that point I'm so beat and frazzled that I wouldn't trust me to balance my checkbook, let alone do complex statistics and write about them.

Hey, I didn't say I was never going to write about this stuff--I'm keeping it to a minimum, believe me.

Post Thanksgiving

Now we're in the thick of Autumn--nearly winter, really. Time to bake cookies, light candles, and watch old black-and-white movies. (If you know what that clip is from--without googling it--you win. I don't know what you win. My admiration or pity perhaps.) I was actually outside yesterday, and it was strangely mild weather. Maybe it's trying to make up for going directly from summer to winter while I was postpartum.

I may actually get some work done on my data analyses today, as Limelet is willing to actually sleep for a while. As long as he is in a sling, on me. This is fine because now I have figured out how to use a sarong (basically just a pretty, rectangular piece of fabric) to make one that is truly hands-free. No more one-handed typing! It is a big deal to be able to sit down without him fussing because I'm not walking around. I am able to type this, right now, with both hands. Yippee!

This upcoming weekend is both our birthdays--mine and TheLimey's. Hopefully we will be able to relax and do ... nothing much. But meanwhile, I must try to at least do my data screening.

Mirror in the Bathroom

Mirror in the Bathroom
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo.

I promised I'd post a photo of Limelet in the onesie that Auntie Leslie gave him, now that he fills it out.

Bits for Thanksgiving Pondering

The thing to drink over the holidays is certainly pea. (There aren't many manufacturers who can lay claim to being the market leader in turkey-flavored beverages.)

And I guess this means the end of my dreams that Catdog could be real. (What could they/it do with a hydrant, anyway?)

I really wish these guys were a rockabilly band. It seems a waste otherwise of a really good rockabilly type name.

I also saw that C-sections in the U.S. hit an all-time high at over 30% of births. I think this will be one of those eras that history looks back on in a head-scratching manner, like we do now with cocaine-laced soft drinks.

Amazingly, people continue to find and comment on my entry regarding the Oxford Round Table or Roundtable, usually stating that they almost got suckered. And speaking of which, doesn't this charitable one look a lot more fun than that other stuffy one, anyway?

And finally, in other news, today I saw that someone had correctly written "with bated breath," instead of what people usually write.

If you don't already know, think nightcrawlers, or maybe cheese and mousetraps.

Vorsicht!

P1190580
Originally uploaded by matatabby.

It certainly would scare me away.

Ode on Baby-Dragging

I think people who haven't had kids have the idea that little babies are easily portable. I get this impression because of the number of people who have asked us when (or told us) we're bringing the baby over so they can see him. I know they mean well and just want to have a look at the cute little new baby, but in reality it's a huge PITA.

It's not that it's just inconvenient to put on his long pants and put him in the car seat and drive somewhere, so we can't be bothered. Oh no--there's a lot more to it. There is a definite reason (besides agoraphobia) that I pretty much just stay in the house these days.

For one thing, he's breastfed, not bottle-fed, which is what I think people may be used to seeing. Now, bottle-fed babies may well go 4 hours between feedings (and thus are easier to schedule activities with), basically because formula is a lot harder for them to digest. But breastfed babies often go a mere 1½-2 hours between feedings. If you then consider that a full nursing meal may take an hour, you can start to get an idea of how time-consuming this feeding business can be.

Now, this "typically" business is just an average--Limelet is one of the more-frequent feeders during the day (though blessedly he eats only a couple of times at night.) And just FYI, breastfed babies who are put on a schedule like bottle-fed babies, show delayed growth compared to on-demand nursers; bluntly put, they starve. So get that idea out of your head right now.

For example, this morning Limelet has been nursing for most of the time between 5:30 and 11:30. We had a lovely 1-hour break, during which he--amazingly--slept the entire hour (I had a real shower today with conditioner and everything! And answered a few urgent academic emails.) otherwise, pretty much, just...nursing...since 5:30am. If it weren't for the baby sling (in which I can nurse him), I'd have bedsores. I'm nursing him right now as I write this, though it's kind of hard to do.

Okay, so, say I have to go somewhere. To the university to pick something up, for example. This means I have to find the time to bathe both myself (it's usually been days, so I really should) and the baby, too. So I may have the time for a really quick shower if he's dozing for 10 minutes between nursing, but I have to leave out anything fancy, like shaving my legs, putting on any makeup at all, or drying my hair (not that I blow-dry it anyway).

Hygiene only--no time for grooming! If my husband is home he can potentially walk the baby around and around to stave off the hunger cries with exciting, repetitive songs (the Black Adder theme song features prominently, for some reason). This gives me time to also brush my teeth.

At least Limelet likes his bath, so it's only time-consuming, not torturous. But by the time I've had my shower and then bathed him, it's always time to eat again. Heaven forbid we set out on a car trip when he's already hungry, so we better time the bath accordingly. Did you notice there was no time I mentioned anything about myself eating? That's how it often works in real life, too. Just when I'm supposed to be eating like a horse (cow?) in order to produce milk, I have the least time to eat that I ever will in my entire life.

So we're bathed, dressed, he's fed, and I have an apple and a granola bar in my purse. Now we take him out to the car. If it's cold, which--come on, it's Michigan. It's cold. And windy. There is no convenient way to take an infant out in the cold, so I'm glad our car is only 20 feet from the door. Even so, the wind that gets under the blankets makes him gasp for breath repeatedly until he's frothing at the mouth. So now we buckle him into the car seat--it's not too comfortable for infants, as they slump down and can't breathe right (as I see it), and the straps have to be really tight in order to keep them properly and safely in. So he dislikes that aspect already, though he's a good sport about it most of the time.

We start out on our trip, usually about 2 hours after beginning to get ready. Now if I go on campus, there is a bit of a hike from the car to whatever building I'm going to, which means that my poor baby is blown into a crying, frothy, gasping little bundle by the time I get to the door. I hate this, and clearly he does, too, poor little thing.

Since we've been driving a while, it's time to nurse him again, so I hope that I get to--wherever--at least half an hour early. And then I have to find some place to nurse him, or at least some place to get him attached and get the cloth over his head to hide the hideous, lurid, obscene spectacle of a mother feeding her tiny innocent hungry baby. Who is also still upset from having to gasp and froth in the cold wind, dammit.

So far we've taken 2 hours to get ready, 45 minutes to drive, and half an hour to nurse. The "to" trip is so far therefore 3 hours, 15 minutes. This doesn't include any changing of his nappy/diaper --add in ten minutes. There; almost 3½ hours. And we haven't even done whatever we came out for yet!

The going home bit is somewhat shorter. Make it to the car with the re-blown and frothy upset baby, feed and change him in the car before leaving, stuff him into the disliked car seat again, 45 minutes. Drive drive drive, another 45 minutes. So maybe just an hour and a half. But add that to the above 3½ hours, and suddenly I realize it's been 5 frikkin' hours! Not including whatever activity we attended. (Okay, cut out half an hour if I didn't need to shower or dress for whatever it was.) We'll get home perhaps 6 hours after we started getting ready, if whatever we did took just an hour. And did you notice that all I've eaten so far all day is an apple and a granola bar? That's really not good for a nursing mother.

On top of all that, on days that I take him out, he's all fussy and riled up and doesn't sleep well that night. His schedule of constant eating and napping was interrupted! Takes forever to get to sleep (this means I may spend a back-ouching hour or so walking in circles in the dark kitchen, playing the lullabies of the world CD, while he's semi-awake in the sling) and he wakes up often in the night.

So, this is why we don't want to attend whatever happening event is happening. At least while he's still so young. It's not that we don't like people. It's not even that we're lazy (this time). It's just way too much, and way too stressful, for any but the most necessary things. So you're welcome to come over for a little visit instead. Just give us some lead time to wash the poopy nappies and maybe even ourselves. And feel free to bring dinner!

2006 Application Cycle

Typing slowly with one hand while I hold baby, as usual, which leads to terse text.

This morning, I finally (via my poor overworked husband) sent off the last of my internship apps for this, my third, year.

As you may recall, I did actually get a really good spot last January, but nearly simultaneously discovered that we'd be having a baby about the same time the internship began.

After much finagling with [Organization]--who don't "officially" allow sites to "hold" internship slots--the site director basically agreed kindly to tear up our contract with no penalty to me. Thank goodness; because I can't imagine already being away from the Limelet at a 50-hour-a-week job, which I would have been now that he's over 6 weeks old.

Anyway, now that I've done with the @$*&% applications once again, I can spend my "spare" time turning my mind to other things.

Now when I'm sneaking work time alone at 3:30 am, I can work on my dissertation. Or when he's sleeping in his sling in the daytime, I can use my one free hand to (very slowly) tidy the kitchen.

I can make phone calls to straighten out (for the 6th year in a row) why the graduate school hasn't paid this semester's tuition again, and how I let my student malpractice insurance lapse on the day I was giving birth! (Though I won't be seeing clients again until next summer at least.) I might even get to the basket of wedding thank-yous...now that it's been well over a year. Sheesh.

Heck, maybe I could eat breakfast and lunch!

But one thing at a time.

Until I have to start interviews again. Heaven knows how we're going to manage that this year...>sigh<

National Drunk Writing

National Drunk Writing
Originally uploaded by geistweg.

For those of you out there who are allowed to drink (and to write), I fully endorse this event (as presented by a completely coincidental Flick'r member), if only for my own entertainment at the results.

Please use a computer or typewriter rather than handwriting so that we can at least read the individual letters of your output the next day, if not follow the sentences.

Marmite's Safe Then, Too?

Whew! Thanks for clearing this up, Slate.

Mr. Teddytoes

Mr. Teddytoes
Originally uploaded by doctorlizardo.

He gets to wear more than one outfit for his first Halloween, right? After all, he can't have the candy yet.

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween
Originally uploaded by Terry_Lea.

Ghost squirrel sez "Happy Halloween!"

(Good job there's someone doing seasonal squirrel Photoshops, because I sure don't have the time.)